Writer’s Separation Anxiety

When viewing television (or movies), we connect to certain characters and either love them or hate them (J.R Ewing; Dallas). It should be no shock that we sometimes do that in reading a favorite book. I doubt one book can have such an impact with how we connect to the characters though.

It is usually a “series” of books such as “Harry Potter” or “The Twilight Saga”, that grow the strong and sometimes overwhelming character attachments. Sometimes it is the “tie-in” novels of T.V. series that also keep us connecting/connected to the characters.

I’m sure if you “Google” or “Bing” “Harry Potter” and/or “The Twilight Saga” you’re bound to find legions of fan photos, videos, and even fan-fiction about the characters. 

"Twilight" by Stephenie Meyer. The book that started the saga of love, vampires, and werewolves

So, if television/movie viewers along with readers can become attached to the characters – what about the writers? 

After all, we create the characters you grow to love (or hate). We’re the ones who spend the longest amount of time with them (writing, editing, re-vising, re-writing, editing, re-vising, finish writing). It’s a good question.

Do we become equally as attached/involved as the viewers and readers?

In my case? YES.  I can’t (and won’t) deny that sometimes I get attached to my characters.

I recently learned something that has pinpointed a “sticking” issue when it comes time for me to finish a story … which is necessary to edit, revise, re-edit, and publish.

Now, I don’t know how most television/movie writers feel about their stories or their characters. I don’t even know how the majority of authors who write serial stories feel about their characters. I’m talking about people like John Sandford (Virgil Flowers and Lucas Davenport), Patricia Cornwell (Scarpetta), even Debbie Macomber (Cedar Cove; Promise, TX; Blossom Street).  

I do know how I feel about my stories and characters – I get attached and sometimes I fall in love with them. Their quirks, their personality, their story – everything about them. So much so, that I don’t want it to end.

That almost sounds pathetic. But, sadly, it’s true.

While endings should be happy (especially if that’s what you’re writing), mine are hard to get to, and the thought is a bit terrifying. I sometimes stop writing in mid-story because ending the story/book does seem overwhelming.

What’s wrong with me? Why don’t I want to end the story? Why don’t I want to perhaps publish it?

It’s not that I don’t want to publish it (some of them I do). And, there isn’t really anything “wrong” with me per se. BUT, I do suffer from …

Writer’s Separation Anxiety

It is as the name suggests – a writer’s version of separation anxiety.

SEPARATION ANXIETY: “psychological condition in which an individual experiences excessive anxiety regarding separation from home or from people to whom the individual has a strong emotional attachment”

I thought I was the only one with this affliction. Turns out I’m not. There are some writers who write sequels just because of that – they don't want to let the characters go. Some of them, you really don’t want to.

I’ll explain it in a little bit, but first … some history as to what I write –

I’ve written my own stuff with characters and stories I created and thought of in the damnedest of places at the weirdest times. And, I haven’t even finished them either, some I haven’t even started for one reason or another – usually the lack of time, or that I can’t get “get into it” when I need to.

I also write “fan-fiction”. Though my “FF” is more like a continuation of a discontinued series or what it would be like if I was in charge of a current series. I do this by adding more characters, taking the characters to places they’d discussed in “canon”, and keeping the relationships intact as they were portrayed (not the “slashy” type) to work it all in.

No offense to people who do that, but I am a “purist” at heart. I can understand adding a few more characters to “spice it up”. But, portraying the characters any more than what they were or any manner in which they did not normally act, it just isn’t me. 

I look at why I enjoy or enjoyed the series in the first place, and keep the characters just as they were. Not only does it make it more real, but I can almost picture the scenes in my head as if they were on the T.V. 

It’s also my way of respecting the integrity of the series and the actors. Some of whom actually helped create, shape, form, and outline them. Some bring themselves to the character and portray the character the way they see him/her or want them to be.

To change that “essence” or “nuance”, I feel, is disrespectful. Again, that is just me. I’m not going to debate the morality or ethics of it though. I write what/how I write for a reason, likely another reason I haven’t completed a story. 

Here’s how I “add” to the “canon”:

In a season one episode, a character tells his buddy that he and a girlfriend were thinking about marriage and having kids. They broke up, but it was something the character wanted and expressed. He’s reflecting on it because the lady has died.

Season two has the same character asking a dying woman to marry him because he loves her. Of course she doesn’t, and she dies. [FYI: The idea that he asked is truly romantic, even if it wasn’t a “candlelight, flowers, on one knee” romantic proposal.]

Season three has the same character telling a new girlfriend (who is going to leave him at the end) the same thing – he wants or dreamed about getting married and having a couple of kids.

See the theme? He wants to get married and have a couple of kids. Nothing has changed from that. “He” has mentioned marriage three times … or more. It’s established as “canon” (usually after the first time).

If it is a “current” series, you always have to work with the new changes. Some are good, some bad. That’s the downside of writing  about a current show.

What about an “older” or canceled series? Easy. Take from that and move forward. What would be the “normal” progression? What would the characters do? 

What about having the character actually find someone to marry (she isn’t going to die, isn’t a whacko, isn’t a criminal, and isn’t going to leave him)? What about them having a child or two?

Sounds like it’s keeping to the theme so far.

Throw in some fun and/or not-so-fun police cases (if it’s a cop show) and you’ve got some great mini-shorts –

Can they balance it all?

Is this really the life he thought about?

What about his partner/best friend?

What about their spouses and/or children … are they friends?

Do they participate in workplace and/or school sports?

How do their spouses and children deal with the “danger”?
How does he react when his wife and child(ren) are in “danger”?

Already I’m setting the stage for a great set of short-stories that keep to the theme, keep the characters intact, true, honest, and add something new – make it exciting.

At least, that’s how I write it. I see what works. I go with what is “canon” and build off of that – it’s what I call a “what if” scenario. Trust me, I’ve had a TON of those popping up.

FYI: the one “FF” I am working on was a NaNoWriMo 2013 winner.

If you don’t know how many words I “won” with, it was 152,521 words. Since NaNoWriMo, I’ve added (between “story” and “future scenes”) about 92,651 words. Of course there is the 54,118 that I had before I started.

Even adding all that in won’t bring it halfway. Yeah, I think I might have to divide it into “smaller” books during the editing, but I need to finish the story first.

See, we’re now getting to the problem … finishing the story!

I love my characters EXCEPT the “bad ones”, just can’t bring myself to like them at all. There is no redeeming or likable quality to them.  Getting to the “good ones”, I love spending time with them. I like listening to them and telling their stories.

That creates a HUGE problem … 

Where the heck do you end it?

How can you end it?

What will happen to them?

Will they think I abandoned them?

Is it possible to “revisit” them and their stories?

If it sounds like the set-up to a psychiatrist or psychologist visit … you might be right.

But, it is an affliction with some writers. We spend months (if not YEARS) researching, outlining, setting things up, creating characters (even for those to be inserted in the “FF” stories), writing their stories …

So when it comes time to end it …

NOOOOO!! We can’t do it! At least that has been my problem.

I think, for me, it’s worse with the “fan fiction”. After all, if I didn’t like the main characters, I wouldn’t write about them. So, there is some emotional attachment there, thus … it’s hard to let go. It is extremely hard to let go of characters from older and even canceled shows. Well, for me that is.

If it’s a story I’ve created on my own – my own idea, my own characters … it’s hard as well. I won’t lie. I am experiencing it with “Finding Faith” (NaNoWriMo 2011 Winner). But, it isn’t as hard as the “fan fiction” ones. 

[NOTE: I am taking the characters and putting them together with others, not the REAL ACTORS. There is a HUGE difference.]

After all, I’ve spent months (if not years) creating these people that we’re going to love, hate, lose, mourn, or laugh at. So, it truly is a “labor of love”. 

I’ve spent the same amount of time researching movies and music from the time I set it in (even if it’s recent). 

Today’s readers are smart. They can spot inconsistency a mile away. That is another problem with TV shows – be they four seasons or eleven. People can spot that, and it ruins the imagination [the image or magic].

If I begin a story in 2011, I can’t say the couple heard a song on the radio that was released in 2012/2013. The same with a movie. I can’t say they went to see a movie that hadn’t been released yet, or was only in the theaters for two months (and the time is a year after that).

Continuity issues are a B*#@H (pardon me). That is why the research (in my case) takes months in advance, and even well into writing the story.

For example, my 2013 NaNo story goes from July/August 1979 to September 1994. Don’t ask for details, you’re not getting them :) but, it’s definitely “epic”.

Anyway … 

There’s a movie I LOVE that came out during that time. And, it is RIGHT up the characters’ alley (all four of them), so of course they’re going to go see it.

But, when was it released?

Stop writing. Yup. I have to stop to continue – brain ache anyone? Time for MORE research. Open multiple browser tabs – go to IMDB, go to Google, and go to Wikipedia.

Now, two of them are “user” updated. But, if the information “gels”, then go with it. If a movie was released on December 19^th, I’ll have the characters see it perhaps Christmas Eve or the 26^th. Also, when was it released on Laserdisc, Beta, VHS, DVD?

Never-ending questions, research, fun! 

I can’t write: “David popped the “ANNIE” VHS tape in the player” in 1984, when it wasn’t released until say 1985 as a VHS tape.

Same with music. I look when it “charted” and have it play during that time on the radio. Was the single released before the album, when were they released … what formats? Vinyl, cassette, CD … 8-track?

Also, what foods were around, what packaging? I can’t say someone had Pringles Tortillas when they weren’t “around” until say 2013.

Realize there are always going to be “creative differences” and issues. The weather might be a factor as well (did it rain in Los Angeles in July 1983).

So, as I write, I also have to do research. That can eat up an entire day.

Mind you this should be done before the story is started, but I can tell you … that isn’t always the case. Do I outline my stories? Yup!

But …outlines hardly work for my writing? Why?

To quote “Yoda” … “always in motion is the future”.

While I am writing a story with a definite beginning and a definite end … it’s the “middle” that strays. I go where my characters take me; their future is always in motion, always changing, as are they.

I can’t always “foresee” a scene during the outline. It could be trigged by a song, event, a word … anything. So, I have to be prepared to handle it as it comes.

The NaNo story is staying on track with regards to the “major” events I want to tell, which I am SO grateful for.

But, there are “gaps” where the characters will sometimes pop up and I get something either incredibly funny (these four will do it to ya), incredibly sad (it’s their luck), or incredibly scary (dating a cop isn’t always about the dead bodies they might investigate, it’s the lives ones that are scary – rapists, drug dealers, car thieves, etc).

So, that is also an issue. The point is to get it all down. Who knows – what I ignore might be the deal-breaker, and what I put in might sink the ship. The important thing is getting it down, done, and edited.

It’s the “done and edited” part I struggle with.

Right now, I’m not even at the halfway point, which is good. I can spend more time with them, have more fun, get into more trouble.

But, in the end … is “The End”.

You can’t keep it going forever. That’s why there are sequels, and in some cases … serialized books (remember the authors I referenced earlier – Sandford, Cornwell, etc), series, movies …

But, if we writers didn’t feel that attachment to the characters, would the readers?

Would the story reflect “I don’t care about these characters, I’m just telling their story”?

What kind of a story would that be? Would it be just as interesting, or would it be boring? Would the characters have the same depth and attraction? 

In “the end” … you have to tell the characters you love them, wish them well, say you’ll visit them down the road … and you have to leave. 

For me, that day isn’t any time soon. It should be, but it isn’t. I don’t know whether I like that or not.

So, the next time you ask “why haven’t you finished that story/book” … you’ll know … I’m not ready to say goodbye to the characters, nor am I finished telling their story.

Perhaps they’re not ready to tell me goodbye either.